THEIR HUSBANDS ARE CHICKEN

"NINO!"

Patricia's eyes were sparkling, her face glowing and screaming happiness, and she smiled from ear to ear, it looked like she was going to jump up and down on the hotel bed.

"ALL THE WOMEN WERE JEALOUS OF ME!

We were in Stellenbosch, South Africa, together with four other couples, we were invited by my friend Hans and his company as a thank-you for all the business we did together. We had a very comfortable week with the best food and a small luxury bus to bring us from destination to destination. The day before we went to see Robben Island and the prison cell of Nelson Mandela, a very impressive experience, and we stood on the Table Mountain which was mesmerizing beautiful.

We had a great day and we just came back to the hotel room after having some after-dinner drinks. In the morning we went to the oldest vineyard of the Cape and after that to Cape Point, where the Atlantic - and Indian Ocean meet each other.

"Why are they jealous of you, did I miss something?"

"Oh my God, you-are-so-incredible-stupid"

"What then?"

"Unbelievable, so stupid! You fought with a baboon!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that".

I don't know much about nature and animals and I guess I behave accordingly.

This is what happened that day: Hans's brother Rick told us on the bus just before arriving at Cape Point that we were going to have lunch on top of the hill in a restaurant that had a great view and good food but also a lot of baboons.

"It happens a lot that they suddenly jump on your table to steal the food. Now they have a lot of guys running around with sticks trying to keep them away, but not always successful.

"So you guys can choose, sit safely inside or adventurous outside", Rick said.

The ten of us sat down on the terrace and all the men had masculine proposals about what they would do if one of those baboons would jump the table.

We ordered, lunch came and we already heard some screaming from two girls sitting on a picnic table at the entrance, having drinks and eating a bag of chips. A baboon jumped straight from the roof of the entrance, grabbed the bag of chips, and disappeared.

Two tables further the same happened, leaving total chaos on the table.

And then it happened to us, despite all the manly talk our whole table was empty in seconds flat. Just two people didn't run, Patricia didn't because she liked to move as slowly as possible, and I didn't because Patricia didn't and I had no idea why I should run away.

The baboon however had plans I couldn't agree with, I saw his head and ugly big yellow teeth move to Patricia, ready to bite and I hit him as hard as I could twice on his back. No time to think about what could happen.

It seemed like it didn't make much impression, but the baboon turned around, looked at me, and disappeared.

The waitstaff complimented me on my handling, they fixed everything on the table and our company could come back.

After lunch, we walked downhill toward where our bus was parked, peeked at the ocean and we admired Africa.

And then I had another animal encounter, I saw a pack of ostriches, like fifteen of them standing 150 meters away. I walked over to meet them, I heard some hollering behind me, it was our driver putting both hands on the sides of his mouth trying to create a bullhorn, screaming to me in Afrikaans: "Nino, nie doen nie!" What means "Nino, don't do that."

Patricia helped him scream, Ninoooooh, are you crazy, come back, those animals are dangerous. They-can-kill-youuuuuh".

So I ended up standing in the middle of all those giant birds, and it felt amazing. When I had enough of it, I just walked away, nothing happened.

"Oh yeah, you think that the other women were jealous of you?"

"Hell yeah, now they all know that their husbands are chicken."

I loved it when she was proud of me, I can see her face lovingly smiling at me.

But honestly, now she probably would say "Oh no, not that story again"