Chapter 3 - AH DO BELIEVE AH AM SEEIN' NAKED PEOPLE!

I woke up the next morning to my dog whining and a loud crash coming from the bathroom. That was followed by some water turning on and off, a screech or two, some excited conversation, people running up and down the steps, more conversation in the bathroom, followed by the water, and more screeching. I got up and jumped into my jeans, and ran downstairs, to see what was up, but a few of my new guests ran past and back down the steps, and the bathroom had emptied. I went down to make tea. I set the kettle on and turned, glancing out the window. There in my yard, I saw Tek holding up a Sarong as cover, as his wife Li showered behind it with my garden hose. I bolted to go stop them but heard them laughing, and held myself back. I thought how nice it was to hear them laugh, to see them smile. My dog whiskey whined again, and I handed him a doggie treat, wondering why he was acting so hungry. I put his food out in his bowl.

The phone rang.

" Hello?"

" Why Good Mornin" Trish! with Jean Marie. Ah Declare, ! AH am not real sure, but something’ is goin' on in your yard over there. AH do believe Ah am seein' naked people! Are you ok? Do Ah need to call the police?"

" Oh oh, NO! Jean! I am so sorry, I will take care of it right away, don't you worry! they are new here , I am sorry!" My next-door neighbor was nosy, and a gossip and I fought off my urge to giggle.

" New? what's that got to do with it? New and running around naked in the yard?" Are they crazy? are you crazy?"

" No, oh my, Jean Marie! I am so sorry, it's fine, really I won't let it happen again, let me run and take care of this."

As I hung up the phone there was another thunderous crash from the bathroom. I called Hout. and poured my tea. It was going to be an interesting day!

I asked him to run and bring his parents inside. They came, both in a sarong, and I poured them some tea. I was explaining no nakedness outside, because of neighbors, when again another bathroom scream!

This time I went running, leaving the rest of the outside showering issue for later. Hout, Tek, and Li all followed. I knocked on the bathroom door. Touch and Hoar answered and opened the door. They were shy and embarrassed. They had a plastic bucket from my garage with sponges I used on my car. Hout asked them why they screamed and there followed a discussion, others came to stand in the hall, and everyone gathered. While they talked I glanced by chance at the toilet seat. It had been broken from the back hinge, and there were two distinct footprints on the seat. I closed my eyes a second and thought,

" uh-oh "

Hout said to me" We turn on the water, and try to wash. But then water get very hot very hot to cook us! Maybe. they try , but not understand this. " Erin? do you and Betsy have on your bathing suits under your clothes?" Carol and the girls had arrived and joined the crowd. " Aw Trish, I thought you were gonna show us" quipped Carol. I rolled my eyes at my best friend. I asked the girls, two giggling 5-year-olds to demonstrate the shower.

Tess stressed " Safety first! always cold first. Cold is blue. Hot is Red." Hout was repeating everything. Tess turned the knobs proudly, " Turn to the right, harder!" they each filed by to see the water come from the faucet. ahs and ohs and Ah ha! s Then she explained, " Pull this, and shower time" And she and Betsy danced a bit in the showering water, there were excited ah Ha's and OOOOh's and the others pushed forward to see, shaking their heads yes. The mystery of the screams and shower solved I turned to take care of what I now understood had been causing the crashes.

I had a spray bottle of bleach solution, I had been told to have them use this with each use of the toilet, for the first weeks, and sprayed the seat and took a paper towel to wipe it off and dispose of it in the trash there. bleached the bowl too, had to be careful. Parasites were rampant. I turned to my two-and-a-half-year-old and said, " Now Annabelle, your sister taught about the shower, you teach about the toilet." A very proud little girl jumped up on her stepping stool and pulled down her ruffled panties, sitting her little bottom down on the toilet seat. " Sit here." She announced seriously. Bending down to make sure all systems were going, she tinkled in the toilet. " Tinkle! " and then paper! Then wash your hands." She finished chin held high. She stood up and said " TADA!" and took a little bow, instinctively there was applause, and many giggles. People began to go their ways and Carol handed me some of the girl's things, we started to chat about what had to be handled today regarding forms, etc., and who would be coming from the Friends Meeting (Quakers) Carol made notes, starting with a new toilet seat.

Then in mid-phrase Carol scrunched her nose, and sniffed, she sniffed again, Trish, I smell fire! I was already running. The smoke was in the kitchen. Carol grabbed the oven drain tray, and I my tongs. We pulled out a log and kindling that was on fire in my oven and shoved it under the kitchen faucet. Kan, Hoar, and Li stood there looking guilty and sorry and nearly crying. Hout came in and began to yell at them, and then Tek did the same, The women were ashamed, and hung their heads low. " I put my hand on Hoar's shoulder and said, " It's ok, It's ok, you didn't know." I turned to the young man " Hout, do not be harsh with them! it was just a mistake, and it's ok! Say that, say that exactly how I say!" I looked at him sternly. " Now, Say: I show you how to turn on the stove."

"Carol, let's do this. Can you think of any other dangers?"

" Bert's breath after garlic?"

" Carol!"

We showed the oldest four ladies how to operate the stove, the top gas burners, and the oven. Each of them tried it and turned it off, and I had Hout caution them about turning it off, and the danger of gas left on. They all understood and loved the kitchen. I showed them the refrigerator and the freezer, and this was a wonder! Again, Hout had to explain the dangers.