Chapter VI - HOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE

I drank a lot.

In the end, my alcoholism was such a big part of our life, it turned everything around for the worse. Drinking almost seemed to be the only purpose in my life. Of course we also had a lot of good times, fun, and happiness but bit by bit the problems took over and they became one big hangover.

Patricia, family, and friends tried everything to talk sense in me, but Jack Daniels was pretty much my best friend, and breaking up with him appeared to be an impossible thought. In an animated conversation, we were having, one of my best friends suddenly said to me: “I see death in your eyes," without any cause or explanation. Years later I realized that he was right.

Patricia, told me in later life that she then was seeking help from our family doctor who gave her the following advice: "If you stay, he won’t stop drinking and probably dies, if you leave him it is a fifty/fifty chance, he follows you and stops drinking or he doesn’t and he dies.

One day I came home and noticed suitcases at the door, my son David was five months old. “What’s happening”, I asked Patricia. “We fly to the United States tomorrow” “To do what?“

“WE ARE GOING TO LEAVE YOU!”

Our house in Amstelveen was so incredibly empty: empty closets, empty girls' rooms, empty fridge, and above all no little David, just me. After a four-month-long drinking binge, I had a sober moment and walked into the café of a good friend, in downtown Amsterdam. I greeted his wife and she kind of stared at me....... She reached behind some bottles on the shelf and grabbed an envelope which she handed to me.

“YOU-BETTER-SIT-DOWN”, SHE SAID

I recognized the beautiful handwriting of my wife, in the envelope was her letter and 1500 guilders, it said:

"Dear Nino,

I don’t want to be separated from you, I love you so much and so do the children. This money is for you to buy a flight ticket to the US, please stop drinking and come be with us!

I love you" Patricia

I asked my friend why she didn’t give me the letter earlier, “I was supposed to give you the letter when you were ready for it, and I think you are now”

To be continued……..